she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
did you just send me my own nude
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
