so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
A+ Viking dick
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
