Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize
