we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
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