Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
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