I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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