My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
