Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
