Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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