Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
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