He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
