so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
