walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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