just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
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