I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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