i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
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