dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
