It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Randomize
