if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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