When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Randomize
