return my video game
The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Randomize