she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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