i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
