Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize