hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
