Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize