The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
