You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
