Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Randomize
