Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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