i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
