drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
