Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize