I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
