Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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