I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
