Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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