When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Dear god my vagina.
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