help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
