Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
