Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
When are your genitals available?
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