Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
why is half of my head shaved?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
