I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Girls should come with a carfax report
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
