a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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