So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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