i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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