I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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