I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
