My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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