go do what you do best...puke behind churches
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
