I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize