dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Randomize
