Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
